The Light Underneath
by AidenB
Summary: Follow Up to Just For Starters. That weekend in Reno changed the CSI's but was it all for good?
1. Default Chapter

**WHITE LIGHT**

**Plot:** Follow up to the badly titled: Just For Starters. Sara and Catherine clash over Grissom and both end up getting hurt. Warrick tries to step up his relationship with Eva. Nick gets a date and Greg gets the wrong impression. I hope that doesn't give too much away (!) This was a challenge from MK to write a songfic full story.

**A/N: **I've worked a few songs.... into this fic. Nancy Sinatra's- Bang Bang it's delightfully dark and quirky.

**DISCLAIMER: **Not real, not mine all the work of my imagination...blah... blah...blah. I am not 'lucky' enough to be a part of the 'beloved' CBS.... LMAO. MK and I both have strong feelings about CBS especially after the whole firing fiasco.... but we won't get into that. Eva's mine that is all.

"Joe is.... energetic isn't she" smirked Sara to Greg. He nodded adoringly at Joe who was bopping her head to some strange music on her headphones whilst deciphering some complex DNA codes. After a well deserved but all two short two-week break from work after her terrifying ordeal, Sara had returned to find that a few things had changed at work. For a start there was this new extremely chatty lab assistant, Joe Green who seemed to adore Grissom to the point of hero status. Then there was this whole tense air between her and Catherine that she couldn't understand for the life of her. Then finally there was the fact that Nick was nice to Eva when he had to be but seemed to avoid her like the plague when her back was turned. Sara sighed muttering out loud to herself since Greg was so focused on Joe. "Looks lie it's back to work as usual at CSI HQ".

Sara walked out of the lab and found her feet lead her to the locker room. The case was getting on her nerves. She needed to take ten. Then lo and behold she saw them talking, something about that fateful weekend. Her ears didn't really listen, she only watched. The way Catherine's hand enveloped Grissom's. Or the way Grissom seemed to confide in Catherine in a way he'd never done with her. Then Catherine's arms were around his neck in a hug. Sara didn't wait to see more. She sped from that building. That unfamiliar face. Maybe she was being irrational and paranoid. She didn't care. She needed to get out. Her feet dashed across the pavement till somehow she found herself in her car.

**_i was five and he was six  
we rode on horses made of sticks  
he wore black and i wore white  
he would always win the fight_**

All the memories she shared with Grissom haunted her on a continual basis. On permanent loop in her mind. She blinked furiously at tears then stepped out of the car. The liquor store was always open. She smiled a bittersweet smile and went in. Her other senses shut off, only intent on reaching her goal, she was not afraid when she saw the strange glances that two other customers exchanged with each other or even the pistol that one waved into the air at alarming speed till it was too late. Till the metal was tearing through her flesh and muscle. The world outside moved in movie like slow motion so white and translucent. The last image that rolled in her mind was Grissom...slowly joined by Catherine's. Her eyes rolled and then jarred shut in agony and finally.... silence to finish off that perfect white womb.

_**Bang bang, he shot me down  
bang bang, i hit the ground  
bang bang, that awful sound  
bang bang, my baby shot me down**_

TBC....


	2. Blinding Light

**A/N: **The end of Nancy's song.

**DISCLAIMER: **Not real, not mine all the work of my imagination...blah... blah...blah. I am not 'lucky' enough to be a part of the 'beloved' CBS.... LMAO. MK and I both have strong feelings about CBS especially after the whole firing fiasco.... but we won't get into that. Eva's mine that is all.

**Seasons came and changed the time  
when i grew up, i called him mine  
he would always laugh and say,  
"Remember when we used to play?"**

When he saw her, he told no lies. He didn't try to laugh. He didn't try to smile. He watched her sleep, her chest rising ever so slowly, every so often. Grissom's hands wanted to take her away from this dark and confusing world that she was too beautiful for. Take her away from the hurt and say he was sorry. That was never enough though was it?

He watched as Sara's knuckles suddenly tightened up.... fleetingly. As if she was in the throes of a nightmare. Then they loosened and sank back blending in perfectly with the pristine white of the bed sheet. He sighed, he wanted to have been there but what could he do? Every time he tried to be with her she ended up getting hurt. Whilst Sara was getting shot, Catherine was comforting him. As he finally let himself say out loud his true feelings about that nightmare weekend, he had told her how he was losing faith in himself. Now he knew it. Now it was true. Here she lay all alone and he could do nothing.

Maybe...maybe there was one thing.

**Bang bang I shot you down**

**Bang bang you hit the ground **

**Bang bang that awful sound  
Bang bang; I used to shoot you down**

She didn't find a letter in her mailbox or even a note in her locker not even a call 'as a friend'. He was gone. Catherine focused on Sara. She was the real victim, but when left together in that sterile room. Neither of their eyes could hide the truth. He was gone and no one had known. "I wish I could have been there for you," sighed Catherine in a rare sign of comadry she reached out for Sara's pale hand and patted it. Sara shrugged and smiled "It's all right. Really. I don't even know what I was doing there" lied Sara. Catherine shook her head sadly "according to the CCTV you went in straight after.... the shooters. Looks like you spotted them, worked out what they were up to and went in after them. You know how dangerous that was don't you?" Sara feeling awkward at how easily Catherine only saw the good in here changed the subject. "I never really got to thank you that time...y'know. When that...that guy tried to use me as a bargain" she murmured. Catherine stood up and peered out of Sara's window. She shook her head quietly but her voice hid her sadness. "Hey well.... what are friends for?" she turned back to Sara and sat at the edge of her bed. Sara held out her hand, her smile now fully belying the worry she felt at Grissom's abrupt disappearance. "Friends" she asked warily Catherine didn't even have to ask why "friends" she agreed and shook Sara's hand earnestly.

Sara's visitors came and left, each assuming that she was getting better from her chirpy, wise cracking demeanour. Instead, she sank deeper and deeper into a hole of despair at Grissom's leaving. Without a sound, note letter, call or even an email. She didn't mind if all she got was an awkward and abrupt goodbye note. Anything but...not knowing. In the big looming hospital bed she shed a tear.

**Music played and people sang  
Just for me the church bells rang  
  
Now he's gone. I don't know why  
And till this day, sometimes I cry  
He didn't even say goodbye  
He didn't take the time to lie  
  
Bang bang, he shot me down  
Bang bang, I hit the ground  
Bang bang, that awful sound  
Bang bang, my baby shot me down**

TBC....


	3. Dark Light

**A/N: **The end of Nancy's song.

**DISCLAIMER: **Not real, not mine all the work of my imagination...blah... blah...blah. I am not 'lucky' enough to be a part of the 'beloved' CBS.... LMAO. MK and I both have strong feelings about CBS especially after the whole firing fiasco.... but we won't get into that. Eva's mine that is all.

**Seasons came and changed the time  
when i grew up, i called him mine  
he would always laugh and say,  
"Remember when we used to play?"**

When he saw her, he told no lies. He didn't try to laugh. He didn't try to smile. He watched her sleep, her chest rising ever so slowly, every so often. Grissom's hands wanted to take her away from this dark and confusing world that she was too beautiful for. Take her away from the hurt and say he was sorry. That was never enough though was it?

He watched as Sara's knuckles suddenly tightened up.... fleetingly. As if she was in the throes of a nightmare. Then they loosened and sank back blending in perfectly with the pristine white of the bed sheet. He sighed, he wanted to have been there but what could he do? Every time he tried to be with her she ended up getting hurt. Whilst Sara was getting shot, Catherine was comforting him. As he finally let himself say out loud his true feelings about that nightmare weekend, he had told her how he was losing faith in himself. Now he knew it. Now it was true. Here she lay all alone and he could do nothing.

Maybe...maybe there was one thing.

**Bang bang I shot you down**

**Bang bang you hit the ground **

**Bang bang that awful sound  
Bang bang; I used to shoot you down**

She didn't find a letter in her mailbox or even a note in her locker not even a call 'as a friend'. He was gone. Catherine focused on Sara. She was the real victim, but when left together in that sterile room. Neither of their eyes could hide the truth. He was gone and no one had known. "I wish I could have been there for you," sighed Catherine in a rare sign of comadry she reached out for Sara's pale hand and patted it. Sara shrugged and smiled "It's all right. Really. I don't even know what I was doing there" lied Sara. Catherine shook her head sadly "according to the CCTV you went in straight after.... the shooters. Looks like you spotted them, worked out what they were up to and went in after them. You know how dangerous that was don't you?" Sara feeling awkward at how easily Catherine only saw the good in here changed the subject. "I never really got to thank you that time...y'know. When that...that guy tried to use me as a bargain" she murmured. Catherine stood up and peered out of Sara's window. She shook her head quietly but her voice hid her sadness. "Hey well.... what are friends for?" she turned back to Sara and sat at the edge of her bed. Sara held out her hand, her smile now fully belying the worry she felt at Grissom's abrupt disappearance. "Friends" she asked warily Catherine didn't even have to ask why "friends" she agreed and shook Sara's hand earnestly.

Sara's visitors came and left, each assuming that she was getting better from her chirpy, wise cracking demeanour. Instead, she sank deeper and deeper into a hole of despair at Grissom's leaving. Without a sound, note letter, call or even an email. She didn't mind if all she got was an awkward and abrupt goodbye note. Anything but...not knowing. In the big looming hospital bed she shed a tear.

**Music played and people sang  
Just for me the church bells rang  
  
Now he's gone. I don't know why  
And till this day, sometimes I cry  
He didn't even say goodbye  
He didn't take the time to lie  
  
Bang bang, he shot me down  
Bang bang, I hit the ground  
Bang bang, that awful sound  
Bang bang, my baby shot me down**

TBC....


	4. Spotlight

**A/N: **This is a song themed on light...I got it from a friend of mine who prefers to be known as K.B.. It's called the 'Spotlight' and it really fits with this chapter. She doesn't let just anyone use her songs so I'm honoured and I hope you like this song too.

**DISCLAIMER: **Not real, not mine all the work of my imagination...blah... blah...blah. I am not 'lucky' enough to be a part of the 'beloved' CBS.... LMAO. MK and I both have strong feelings about CBS especially after the whole firing fiasco.... but we won't get into that. Eva's mine that is all.

Nick yawned and scratched his head. "What a day eh?" He chuckled mirthlessly. Eva nodded; the same grim look on her face. She tugged on her coat and glanced over at him. "Well at least we got those...bastards". Nick nodded dourly "yeah...they could have killed Sara and all for $300 bucks. Now Grissom's gone on indefinite leave, running away when we need him the most. Things are seriously messed up around here" Eva shrugged blankly "_Sara _needs him most...but not everything is going crap.... I heard you had a date tonight" she commented slyly. Nick was stunned "how did you know?". Eva rolled her eyes "who else?" Nick twisted his locker door shut. "Greg. How does he know I was going out with Joe?" Eva smirked wickedly "he didn't know who it was..." she beamed even wider as Nick realised his mistake. "Going out with a lab tech.... Hmm.... Should make for interesting gossip" she grinned happily and flipped her hair from out of her coat, Nick watched her do this, a thought burning on his lips. "How about you? Going out with anyone...Bobby...Rich?" He asked carefully. Of course he knew the answer was Warrick but he needed the closure. If he was really going to move on. Eva looked at him oddly "Rich and Bobby are my roommates.... You know that." She sighed and took a seat on the bench. Nick followed suit. Eva turned to him earnestly "Yup...I am sort of seeing someone but uh...well. It's difficult. It's like I can never tell what they're thinking as if they are hiding some dark secret" she confessed sadly Nick was unsure what to say but he took a lucky guess. "Wouldn't it be easier to tell this person how you felt?"

Eva didn't answer. Instead she wished nick good luck on his date and as she walked home she pondered why she hadn't answered Nick's question. She didn't want to tell him that she was scared that Warrick would reject her. She couldn't face the fact that she was so dependant and in love with him so soon. It was completely out of character and she was caught unawares by it. She couldn't rock the boat. She'd have to be patient.

_**I ain't got no alibi**_

_**Unaware I let myself get caught**_

_**Pushing to the top**_

_**I'm hoping I'll find my way out**_

_**I really shouldn't lie**_

_**This is all I'm sure I know**_

_**Coz it's simpler to admit**_

**_That I just don't give a damn_**

Warrick watched as Eva slept beside him. Only the sound of her breathing gently on his chest could be heard in his room. A thin window let a bluish haze of moonlight filter into the room tinting the white bed sheets. He propped his head on his hand and smiled as she slept on little whorls of hair like a red halo floated around her head. He could get used to this. He wouldn't admit it but it was probably the happiest he was; being with her. He wanted to make the first move and let her share his home. However that was easier said than done. After all was he willing to let himself become vulnerable in front of her, let her share his space, his freedom, did he want her to know about all the demons he dealt with constantly? Especially gambling? Did she deserve to be put through that? He sank back into the pillow his eyes rolled up to the ceiling then back to Eva. Maybe what really scared him was the fact that she wouldn't even want to live with him. It wasn't clear how they felt about each other yet. Even after that dreaded weekend neither had said what was ensnared in their hearts by pride and fear. Even when they had been able to spend the majority of their so-called 'sick break' together neither had said those three words and so that was perpetually in limbo over their heads. Acting like a formidable barrier that kept them from truly experiencing each other.

_**There's that dreaded spotlight  
It shines on you and it's blazing away at me too  
oh that dreaded spotlight, it's putting me in the spot  
It's bringing both our thoughts to light.  
It's making me uncomfortable...  
That spotlight.**_

Eva sat on the edge of Warrick's bed and pulled on her jeans. She glanced at him every so often. He was still asleep. She wished she could join him but she had to get back home and sort out some paperwork. She smiled wryly to herself; it would be easier to stay at his place and do her work but he wouldn't want her cluttering up his place. Eva slipped her vest on and started to make her way to the door. Warrick's sleep clogged voice called to her suddenly "hey. Where are you going?" he murmured, Eva turned to him sheepishly "sorry. I was gonna leave a note...I just have a lot of paperwork to do at home...and you have shift in...an hour". Warrick sat up, the bed sheets slipped from his sheets exposing him to the cold of the room he shivered and raised an eyebrow at Eva. "Yeah. Right." Then he had a thought. "Take my key.... you can get your paperwork and do it here. I'll see you after shift" Eva was to be frank; stunned. "Your key?" she repeated redundantly. Warrick nodded in what he hoped was nonchalance. Eva decided if he was going to be cool about it so was she. She shrugged a small smile playing at the corner of her lips. "All right. See you later" she was about to leave when Warrick called to her again "whoa. Wait. Now that you have my key you don't have to hurry to get to that paperwork.... stay here" he said huskily. She grinned salaciously and edged seductively towards the bed. Her hands sank into the soft cushion of his bed, climbing on she inched towards him; he leant forward and grabbed her shoulders kissing her. Eva laughed as Warrick raised her up then tossed her onto the bed making fast work of removing her clothes all over again. Warrick decided that maybe for the time being taking things step by step would be much easier.

_**It must be the easiest option  
to fall back and laugh  
but this is real isn't it?  
We can't escape it  
Coz y'know we'll just be pushed back into that dreaded.... spotlight.**_

TBC....


	5. Red Light

**A/N; song used is Norah Jones-What Am To You?**

Nick shifted uncomfortably in his seat trying to focus on the large vibrant movie screen in front of him. Next to him sat an overly enthusiastic Joe. Although she was very striking, Nick was beginning painfully, to realise she wasn't his type. Maybe she'd be better off with someone as peppy as her.... like Greg or Archie, he mused as he dipped his hand into the salty popcorn. Joe glanced over at Nick. He didn't seem to be focused on the movie, he seemed far too preoccupied for that. Great her first date in a new place and he wasn't even interested. To top it off she had to work with him. That could prove to be awkward. She decided to make some excuse and head off early. Neither of them really wanted to be there and even if Joe found Nick attractive she couldn't see anything happening. Unlike with Greg; he was funny bright and charming. He'd even asked her out under the assumption that she would say yes but it was too late. She'd already organised the date with Nick. Now things were going to be awkward with Nick and Greg. Joe pondered with some mild irritation how she always got into situations like this.

What am I to you  
tell me darling true  
to me you are the sea  
fast as you can be  
and deep the shade of blue

Warrick's eyes scanned the computer tiredly. "Where's Jacqui Franco when you need her" he muttered out loud. As he ran through the prints he'd collected from the crime scene. His eyes were dull and weak from working so strenuously earlier and now he'd been cooped up behind a desk running through countless prints. Finally...an hour or more later he found a match to his print. Catherine appeared at the doorframe of the lab. "Hey Warrick" she smiled softly, also tired but for her own reasons. "Hey Cath. Still no word from Griss?" Catherine flinched slightly at the sound of Grissom's name but she tired to appear indifferent. "Nah. Don't worry he's a big kid. He can take care of himself." She quickly changed the subject. "He uh...why don't you get some rest. This case isn't going anywhere". The offer tempted Warrick but the dedicated worker in him wanted to focus and put in over time. "Nah. I'll finish up" Catherine came over to see what he was doing and scoffed. "Finish up?" With Jacqui ill this might take days. Go home get a little bit of rest and then come back. Don't worry I'll take over". Warrick looked at her warily, his mind already leading him out of the door. "You sure? I mean what about...." Catherine raised a hand "Lindsay's at a sleepover". Warrick smiled knowingly then gave Catherine a warm hug as he got up. "You're a lifesaver" he smiled lightly. Catherine grinned, flexing her fingers as she sat down at the computer screen. "Yeah yeah. Just get back to that girlfriend of yours" she chuckled. "Don't know what you're talking about" called Warrick from beyond the door. Catherine smiled.

Eva set the dinner for Warrick neatly on the kitchen counter. She smiled to herself, her hopes already up. Maybe this whole thing was leading to more. Just as she was about to get changed she heard Warrick enter the apartment. "Hey there" called Eva from the kitchen. Warrick was pleasantly surprised to find she was still there but his happiness at her being there was overshadowed by the case. The death of a young gambler. Of course in Vegas he should have been used to it but...he wasn't. Eva's lips meeting his lips brought him back out of the darkness in his mind and for a moment he as disorientated but he blinked. Then everything was okay. "What's wrong?" asked Eva abruptly, her clear green eyes looked up at his own clear green eyes expectantly. Warrick gently let go of her embrace and moved to the kitchen. Only to find she was following him. "Nothing...long day" he sighed and sat at the counter, already to eat and then relax. Eva however, was not so easily placated. "Warrick. I know you. Is it something with the case?" she asked softly. Warrick's head ached and stung but he purposefully kept on eating." Really. It's fine. Don't worry about it okay?". Eva sat opposite him. "You're sure?" she asked, her tone more jovial. However Warrick didn't notice the change in tone yet. "Yeah I'm fine okay? I just need some quiet" he shot tersely. Eva sighed and sank her head in her hands. She got up and headed over to the living room. Silently seething. She didn't know how to act when he wouldn't even tell her a simple thing like how his day was. She was new to this whole serious relationship thing but she'd thought they were doing well. Eva would want him to be as concerned as she had been about how he felt. He would do that though at least, wouldn't he?  
when you're feeling low  
to whom else do you go  
see I cry if you hurt  
I'd give you my last shirt  
because I love you so

Catherine held on to Lindsay, as her sickly daughter vomited into the toilet for the fifth time that day. She was having the worst week of her life. Sara in hospital, work piling up like crazy, Grissom leaving and worst of all Lindsay was ill. An involuntary tear snaked its way down to her lip and she mopped it away. She needed Grissom at times like this. In the past he'd surprisingly always been there to help her out. She grunted and concentrated on being strong. Catherine would have to head back to work any minute soon. She'd call a babysitter, get to work and everything would be fine. She could and would handle this. She just was having a bad time. Especially with the fact that in her dreams she was being continuously haunted by Grissom's absence. One question would whirl around her thoughts. 'Why didn't he tell her? Didn't she matter to him they way he did to her?'

If my sky should fall  
would you even call  
opened up my heart  
I never want to part  
I'm giving you the ball

Warrick sighed. He'd been in a bad mood that entire evening. This had been the first night they'd spent together where they were both angry and neither had tried to apologise. He was angry because she was pissed at him for snapping at her unnecessarily and Eva was pissed off with him for not telling her how he was feeling. Never mind that night. He was like that all the time. She was tired of it. Now Eva was heading back home. He swallowed his pride and placed a hand firmly on the front door as she made a move to open it. She looked at him oddly "what are you doing?" He didn't answer but instead pressed his lips to hers. Eva pulled back "Goodnight to you too man" she smirked but shook her head "if you're gonna apologise. Do it right" Warrick folded his arms defensively and leant against the doorframe "for what?" he didn't want to cause arguments but he didn't really see the big deal. "For what. Right...okay. If we're gonna do this right we need to have a little respect for each other you know?" Warrick sighed and furrowed his brow "I get you. So...if we're cool about...." He gestured with his head ".... all this. Are you going to stay?". Eva shook her head. "You need your space. So-so-so do I. I'll see you at work later" she murmured then gave him a chaste kiss before deftly slipping out of the apartment.

When I look in your eyes  
I can feel the butterflies  
I love you when you're blue  
  
tell me darlin' true  
what am I to you

Eva handed Bobby the bullet she'd collected form the case that she was working on with Nick. "Morning stranger" he smiled cheerfully as she handed him the bullet. "Bobby we're not strangers we live together". Bobby cringed. She was in no mood for jokes that day. He could always tell. "Okay this is a 32 calibre. Striations match the ones from Warrick's case. You know what this means right?" Eva nodded thoughtfully "yeah. Our cases are related". Bobby nodded along with her and then abruptly changed the subject. "Hey...uh why don't you invite Warrick over... You know men's night only" Eva looked at him dryly "oh really. So if it's just a men's night then what will you two do?" Bobby nudged her sharply then continued "So we can get to know him better. Grill him on his intentions with you and stuff. You guys seem pretty serious". Eva scoffed in response, "yeah. Right" She took the bullet details from Bobby and left.

Greg and Nick looked up at Eva as she entered the DNA lab. "Sup partner" grinned Nick. Eva chuckled. "Hey you know that case that Warrick's on? Might just be related to ours. Bobby matched the bullets and if.... the partials we found match Warrick's...We may just have a suspect". Greg snickered quietly, Eva and Nick looked over at him expectantly. "What's so funny dude?" asked Nick. Greg looked at them sheepishly "it's just that Jacqui's been ill for the past like three days and CODIS is having problems so we've had to run prints manually. Good luck trying to match those" Eva and Nick exchanged dismal glances and headed out of the room but not before Eva managed to swat Greg over the head with a full folder of papers.

Greg rubbed his head just as Joe walked in. Thinking it was Eva he turned around waving his own folder of papers. All ready to retaliate then he saw who it was. "Oh. Joe. Hey" he muttered indifferently. Joe stuffed her fingers into her coat pockets awkwardly. "Hey boss" she said good-naturedly. Greg handed her a small tray of blood samples. "Yeah. So could you run these for me? We need them STAT". Joe decided to bite the bullet and tell him how she felt. "Hey about...that date you asked me on" Greg gritted his teeth awkwardly. "Yeah.That.... was...dumb". Joe smiled shyly "I wondered if you wanted to go dancing or something". She thought he was going to say no by the way his face went serious until he said. "Just because we're going on a date doesn't mean that you don't have to run those blood samples". He gave her a cheeky grin and she beamed happily. "Okay. We'll organise something later then". She bounced off away with the samples. Greg raised his hands jubilantly "YYYEEESS!! Greg Sanders you still got it!"

Warrick and Nick stepped out of the interview room where Eva and Catherine waited expectantly. "Well is this our guy?" asked Eva. Grimly Nick nodded. "Yeah. But we've got nothing on him. The prints could belong to anyone. After all he is a cabbie". Catherine sighed, "then we go back to the crime scene and re-examine all the evidence" Warrick was furious. "We can't let this guy go? He killed Al Simmons. We've got motive. Al loses badly at Tangiers. Thinks that he can bum a free taxi ride with Harry Carter...doesn't work out that way. Harry shoots him dead and rides off with Al's expensive gear" Catherine shook her head bleakly and took charge of the situation "yeah well we haven't got evidence.... Nick check out the cab again. Eva check out what's happening with the blood samples. Warrick go back to the crime scene and take a real good look around. We may have missed anything." Nick shrugged and set off to where he was told. Just as they were all of to re-examine the evidence they saw Harry Carter being released. This turned the final screw of anger into Warrick's thoughts. He stormed off angrily cursing under his breath. Catherine and Eva watched him go. The same grave looks in their eyes. Catherine looked pointedly at Eva. Who had shared the same thought, Catherine gave her a brief pat on the back then left.  
  
i will you love when you're blue  
tell me darlin' true

Warrick slammed his fist forcefully into a locker door. His rage acting like an analgesic against the pain he felt from the heavy blow he put into the punch. Behind him he heard fast foot falls. Sure that it was some nosy lab tech, i.e. Greg being far too inquisitive he made a move to slam the changing room door shut only to be met by Eva. He sighed and retreated back into the locker rooms. "Hey" she said quietly. Warrick didn't answer but instead sat down on one of the benches. Eva joined him, tentatively. Unsure of what to say to him. "Warrick, did....you know this kid?". Still he was silent. Eva pressed on. "What's going on with you?" Warrick stood up abruptly "Al Simmons was just a kid...he could have been me." He stopped thinking he'd said too much. Eva stood up with him her hand slightly brushed at his arm "Warrick.... that could never have been you. I mean you changed; you did something amazing with your life. Warrick. You can't let your problems run your life" She tried her best to say this diplomatically but he was past listening. Frustration clouded his judgment. Warrick's face grew taut and grim, he glared at her. "Don't try and get into my head and work me out or understand me okay? Because you don't!" He stormed out without another word leaving Eva reeling with hurt. She sank slowly onto the bench and buried her head in her hands. Why had she let herself fall in love with someone she didn't really understand? Someone who felt so little about her that he got angry at the mere mention of something private. Eva got up though and kept moving. She swallowed her pain and kept moving. It was easier not to deal with things wasn't it?

what am i to you  
what am i to you  
what am i to you 


	6. The Light At The End OF The Tunnel

A/N: This is it the big finish. I've separated the parts so it looks like everyone is being asked the same type of question. It was hard to try and find a song to end with. Then I thought Dido and there you have it. I had my finish.

Disclaimer: I am in no way shape or form affiliated with CBS or the characters in their story. The only thing I claim is Eva Jordan © she is all mine as are the other extra characters in this.

Two weeks away it feels like the whole world should've changed  
But I'm home now  
And things still look the same  
I think I'll leave it till tomorrow to unpack  
Try to forget for one more night  
That I'm back in my flat on the road

Dr. Jennifer Kelsey smiled airily at Grissom. "Have a seat Mr. Grissomâwould you prefer if I called you anything else?" Gil sat on the large recliner in the psychiatrist's office and looked at her indifferently. "What would you prefer?" Dr. Kelsey smiled slightly "all right. Gil. Where would you like to start?" Grissom shrugged. "Well you called me here. Why don't you start?"

Eva shrugged "I guess you just deal with it" Dr.Kelsey looked at Eva carefully. "Was it really easy?". Eva forced a smile "that's not what I meanâ. I had help. If you have someone who went through it so you can both or all talk about it y'know" Dr. Kelsey smiled "yes that's true. When one suffers a traumatic experience it is always easier to have someone to talk to. Are you in a romantic relationship? Right now?"

Where the cars never stop going through the night  
To a life where I can't watch sunset  
I don't have time  
I don't have time

Catherine snorted then returned to being poker faced. "No. Not right now", Dr. Kelsey looked at her carefully "well where you in a serious relationship prior to the hostage situation in Reno?". Catherine looked at Dr. Kelsey sharply "no. I wasn't. I have an eight year old kid. I work nights and if I'm 'lucky' days too. I don't have the time for relationships". Dr. Kelsey looked down at her notepad. "Not even for relationships in the work place?"

I've still got sand in my shoes  
And I can't shake the thought of you  
I should get on, forget you  
But why would I want to  
I know we said goodbye  
Anything else would've been confused but  
I wanna see you again

Sara looked at Dr.Kelsey coolly. Her thoughts nervously travelling to Grissom. "No. That would go against theâ." Dr. Kelsey smiled complacently "there are no work rules against inter-work relationships". Sara shrugged trying to remain calm. "Well then I just don't see anyone at work that way." Dr. Kelsey's blue grey eyes bored into Sara "well what about Hank Peddigrew. What made him different from 'anyone at work'?" Sara was furious and she couldn't hide it. "That is none of your business okay?" she got up to leave but Dr. Kelsey stopped her. "Sara, whether or not you want to be here isn't relevant. You are here so that I can evaluate whether or not you are fit to return to work fully" Sara glowered at her from the doorway "why?". Dr. Kelsey looked at her pointedly "you all suffered a terrible experience that weekend and I'm here to make sure your all doing well. So how are you?"

Tomorrow's back to work and down to sanity  
Should run a bath and then clear up the mess I made before I left here  
Try to remind myself that I was happy here

Nick smiled amicably. "Pretty good considering" Dr.Kelsey looked up from her notepad. "Considering what" Nick chuckled mirthlessly. "That weekend was a nightmare but it helps put perspective on things". He hoped he sounded like he was doing well. He was, but being there in that shrink's chair made him feel really uncomfortable. "What did you feel that weekend clarified for you?"

Warrick's down turned lips were the one of the many not so subtle signs of annoyance that he was displaying for being forced into this 'so called evaluation'. He sighed reluctantly as he thought of his answer. "Its made me appreciate a lot more." Dr. Kelsey pressed on "like what or whom?". Warrick shrugged easily. Sinking back into the recliner. "Just people. My life. Work." Dr. Kelsey was silent for a moment "did you ever want to just quit your job? Do something safer"

Grissom looked at Dr. Kelsey in mild amusement. "To me being a scientist isn't just a 'job'. It' who I am. I can't quit being myself". Dr. Kelsey nodded "then why did you take a sudden leave of absence so soon after that weekend". Grissom shrugged "why not? I was due a vacation". Dr. Kelsey lowered her glasses till they rested on her sharp nose "where you avoiding something Gil. Is that why you left?" Grissom didn't answer. Dr. Kelsey scribbled something down then looked back at Grissom. "How was it like being away from work? From routine".

Before I knew that I could get on the plane and fly away  
From the road where the cars never stop going through the  
night  
To a life where I can watch sunset and take my time,  
Take all our time

Eva threw her head back and laughed briefly. "Liberating. I got to spend timeâ. with myself. With my friends. Really just 'be'." Dr.Kelsey smiled "How were your friends around you after you returned". Eva smiled honestly "oh they were great. Very understanding. You know. It made me feel like I could get through what happened." "Who were you happiest to see?"

Nick shrugged "like I said my friends mainly". Dr. Kelsey jotted a note down." Were you angry that you might have never seen your friends again?". Nick's smile froze fleetingly but he forced a wider smile "you sure do change subjects fast". Dr. Kelsey shrugged straightforwardly "I just want to get this over and done with so you can get back to your friends". "Well yeah I was pissed off with those terrorists. Of course. I wasâ.it made me think. You think you understand people but you don'tâ. you really don't. All these people that I'd worked with and loved as friends could have died that very day and it was all up to me to save them". He finished quietly his eyes drifting to the ground. "Do you ever wish that you could have done something else, that maybe as a CSI you could have seen this coming?"

Warrick exhaled heavily. "Yeah, yeah. I do. I wish it had been me instead of Nick. But that's how things work out in life. Just got to be careful. I still wish I could have helped more. I mean when that guy held the gun to Sara's headâ." He faltered sadly Dr. Kelsey looked at him considerately "do you have an intimate relationship with Sara?" Warrick shook his head quickly. "No, no. Not with her. I'm a one woman man," he said wryly. Dr. Kelsey raised a brown eyebrow. "I thought you weren't in a relationship." Warrick sighed wearily. "I lied. Sorry. I am seeing someone". "Do you love this person?" Warrick didn't hesitate. "Yes"

I've still got sand in my shoes  
And I can't shake the thought of you  
I should get on, forget you  
But why would I want to  
I know we said goodbye  
Anything else would've been confused but  
I wanna see you again

Catherine brushed her hair from her forehead and looked up at Dr.Kelsey. "Yes. I was understandably upset when Eddieâ. my ex husband died." Dr Kelsey shrugged "of course. But didn't all these work related incidents make you wish you had chosen a different career path?" Catherine sighed "I don't want to think about my life withoutâ.this 'job'. I love being out there solving the cases, the puzzles. I learn something everyday. It keeps me on my toes you know? Of course sometimesâ.a lot of the time I worry that I'm not spending enough time with my kidâ.but. I love my work, helping someone reach closure." "What about when you can't? What happens when you can't help someone and they end up resenting you for it?"

Sara didn't want to mention the on the side drinking habit she'd developed. But where else to mention this if not here of all places? A shrink's chair? Sara however decided against it. If that's how you could describe it. "Yes. I meanâno. Well look it's complicated. Obviously you can get frustrated and I mean really frustrated when a case doesn't work out and it can take you weeks maybe months to learn to deal with it but you do don't you? You just deal."

I wanna see you again  
Two weeks away, all it takes to change and turn me around I've  
fallen  
I walked away and never said that I wanted to see you again

The CSI's met in the break room. No one was too eager to discuss their separate sessions with Dr. Kelsey and what those sessions could mean for their jobs. Sara looked over at Grissom fleetingly and she wondered what she saw in him. A little bit of that glowing film of awe and love that she'd once seen him in was fading. Tearing in places. He had really hurt her and she wondered if she'd be able to forgive him that is if she even did want to forgive him. Sara struggled for a reason to her anger. For what? What about leaving you in that hospital bed alone, not saying anything when a simple few words or sentences could have saved her from drowning in sorrow or confusion? Why? To which of course there was no answer. Only silence.

Eva's hand sprang to her forehead, which was really beginning to sting again. She'd been having a lot of headaches lately. The usually occurred when she had one of many fights with Warrick. She sat down on a comfy seat in a far corner of the break room indicating she wanted to be alone. Warrick who had just wearily walked into the break room noticed this wished he could go over to her and comfort her and vice versa. He exhaled, he couldn't could he? No one was supposed to know they were together. Then he inwardly shrugged, "so what? If he felt the way he did about her why not? Confidently he walked over to her and sat down beside her. Eva tilted her head to him in surprise. "Warrickâpeople" she gestured with her hands and sat up slightly. "What people?" he said quietly. He was right; everyone was too wrapped up in their thoughts. Grissom in his office, Catherine privately trying to talk to Lindsay on her cellular, Nick hunched over a cup of coffee and Sara hovering somewhere between Grissom's office and the break room door way. It would be comic if she hadn't looked so perturbed by whatever deep thoughts she was having. Eva smiled slowly "your right" she nodded quietly. Then before any rationalising could make its way into her mindset she felt the warmth of his flesh on hers. His hand clasped around hers. She looked up and smiled. He sank back into the chair returning to his own thoughts and she watched their hands entwined together for a moment with amusement and amazement. This was odd, this kind of connection she felt with him. It was something she'd always longed for as a young girl from her forever-disapproving family but here he was giving her love and comfort so easily. Eva was not about to make the mistake of losing Warrick anytime soon.

Catherine was last to leave the break room. She also seemed to obviously be the only one to notice the highly adorable way that Eva had folded under Warrick's arm and they both slept on in the still of the break room. Oblivious to the world around. Grissom appeared suddenly behind her. "Isn't that sweet" she murmured. He shrugged "I guess" Catherine chuckled wryly. "Ah your just bitter, I think its great they're together. They were very good at being subtle don't you think? I wouldn't have guessed they were together" Grissom's thoughts were far more practical. "We should wake them up. Its late" Catherine shrugged "all right fine Gil. Just like you to ruin the mood" she grinned at him cheekily. He smiled back at her softly "I'm just a spoilsport" he couldn't resist brushing a strand of hair from Catherine's glowing face. "Don't Gil" she snapped at him and flinched at his touch. The look in her eyes at that moment would haunt him for many nights to come. "I don't want anymore of your juvenile games okay? I've got to see my daughter" she finished abruptly and left just as fast. Grissom tugged at his glasses momentarily and looked enviously at Eva and Warrick; why was it so easy for them to be together to love each other to be happy? Why couldn't he decide? Sara or Catherine? More to the point did they even want him anymore? He quietly but audibly woke Eva and Warrick up. They jumped apart like two teenagers but Grissom merely gave them an approving smile before leaving the love that radiated from that room, to the melancholy darkness of his office. Catherine or Sara?

I wanna see you again  
Two weeks away, all it takes to change and turn me around I've  
fallen  
I walked away and never said that I wanted to see you again

FIN


End file.
